An airplane flies overhead on a cloudy
and snowy day. The scene cuts to a black title screen, describing it as a scene
from, “A certain month, a certain day,” in Russian Airspace. The scene zooms in
on the large military plane. Russia and China are seen sitting by the open door
(there are snow-covered mountains in the background) and discussing their next
mission. Russia asks if they are supposed to leap from the plane to launch the
assault as he reads something on his clipboard (it is uncertain what the assault
is against). China affirms this and then tells Russia to put on his parachute
for the attack.
Russia looks up with a smile and says
that he doesn’t need a parachute because there is snow on the ground. Snow is
“very soft” according to him. China becomes perplexed and concerned, asking if
Russia is certain that he’ll be all right, but Russia reassures China that no one
knows snow better than he does. He then says that he is off and leaps out of
the plane. A chibi Russia freefalls, smiling and crying out “VODKA--!” as he
sails through the clouds down towards the snow-covered ground.
[Opening Sequence]
A shocked France
reads about the event in the newspaper while sitting at a table inside a house.
He reads a part of the article
aloud, saying that Russia broke his bones in his mysterious dive. He has the
newspaper open for the audience to see the large newspaper picture of Russia
freefalling with the smaller headline
“WHY DID RUSSIA DIVE?” (Why there is such a large picture in the middle of the
newspaper next to a headline of that size, I don’t know…)
England looks up from his hand
embroidery (one of his hobbies) and
becomes both alarmed and irritated as he notices France sitting there at
the table. He demands to know what France is doing in his house and orders him
to leave, calling him a wino.[1]
France merely answers, without looking up from the paper, that he came over to
England’s house to interfere with England’s embroidery.
[Scene
Change]
Russia returns home (he has a lot of
books, and his house seems filled with bookshelves) with a smile on his face,
greeting Lithuania and Latvia (the shorter dirty-blond boy in a red military uniform with gold
epaulets) who turn around in shock. The two nations become extremely nervous and
tremble as the Blue Danube plays in the background.
Lithuania quickly comes to his
senses and returns the greeting, asking about the Allied Forces’ meeting. He quickly compliments Russia and then asks
about America’s contribution. There is
an eerie ghostly sound as the scene quickly cuts to a smiling Russia and then
back to a back view as he faces the Baltics.
Estonia (the blond
straitlaced-looking man with glasses) appears, looking just as frightened as
the rest of the Baltics, and quickly whispers an aside to the unaware Lithuania,
saying that they cannot talk about America with Russia. Estonia apologizes for the faux pas and asks
if Russia would like to partake in the food that Estonia prepared.
Latvia finally finds his voice and
steps forward to welcome Russia back safely. He has a pleasant smile on his
face, though he continues to tremble and look tense. He then puts his foot in
his mouth by saying that he was worried that the other Allies would call Russia
a “drunkard” or a “frozen Frenchman.”
Estonia and Lithuania cry out
“LATVIA” in alarm at the younger boy’s statement and go into a near panic. A
pink caption appears by Latvia, saying 天然 (“natural”)[2]
as the "Blue Danube" music reaches its
well-known section. Estonia quickly
turns around and leaves to go make some tea. Russia continues to stand there,
smiling with his eyes closed in a pleasant manner, though he is now surrounded
by agitated blue jagged lines. A
helpless Lithuania thinks bitterly to himself just how lucky Estonia is to get away.
A thought bubble pops up by him with numerous ellipses.
[Scene Change]
Russia turns cheerfully from a coat
rack and asks Latvia what happened to the clothes he hung up before. Latvia
zooms onto the scene and energetically (and shaking like a leaf) tells Russia
that they were sent to be cleaned. He
smiles, saying thoughtfully that he noticed the high historical value in the
clothes and thought he would send them to a museum so that they would be taken
care of properly. A picture of Russia’s NORMAL coat shows up with a chilling
sound effect. Latvia looks to Russia, hoping that he did well.
Russia simply smiles, saying that
the clothes are just his everyday wear. Latvia suddenly goes blue and angular
with horror. He apologizes profusely,
saying that he didn’t know. The 天然 caption
shows up again, and Lithuania shrieks in a panic at Latvia’s incompetence.
[1]: In Japanese, he just says “wine
yaro,” which would be literally “wine bastard.”
[2]: 天然 tennen(てんねん). This word originally means “natural” (as in the
characteristic bordering on naiveté), though it also is the short form often’nen boke (天然ボケ ; “natural fool”) . The ten’nen boke would be the funny man in a
Japanese comedy duo that does stupid things to the dismay of his “straight man”
(the tsukkomi) counterparts. Latvia is apparently the fool character in this
Baltic trio.
Hetalia 29 Page 1
